by mudangel

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released November 24, 2010



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mudangel San Francisco, California

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Track Name: passed away
fennel seeds and chamomile grow like weeds
in the cracks
along every gutter of these streets
that flowin flashes of headlights
on the bone and ashes
of every life that i will never know
all the ghosts
that went before and sought refuge in the park
or explode in a hell bourne powder spark
as their immortal soul rips itself away from passion

hearts of gold and clay alike will all fall flaccid
as the dust and steel
bones and ash are gathered up
and thrown away into the water

tell me son, did you think about your daughter
as you dug the road less traveled?

where the immortal souls collect is not for me to know
was it you that told me so...
or did you forget my dear father

well who knows them now
even now we hold them in our hands and in our mouths

that thing inside
which is us for all time
we disregard with just a small intentions
because the mortal soul requires our full attention

chained to our fleshes whole
like a cistern in the basement
we stick our arms into the hole
because it wont accept our bodies
inside packages wrapped for us by others
full of fears and dreams and gods and blessings
and smells of molding earth and fire
and all our love deserving this frantic neglect

i am as dry as twigs and no one taught me why i fear sleep
can i be held responsible for the things i think
if i don't accept them
Track Name: white and dark
sit friend and talk a while
this time tell the truth...who took your white and dark
consumed your shadows and drank the light
from the hollow space in your bones
did you think back when this started you end up
bare assed and alone

the surface now discreet
color is left like a new washed sheet
drying in the breeze that has lost its romance
and with that any chance at meaning
in the lost hours that framed your youth
while you were scheming they slipped away

no more sweet caress in maidens hair
no more grasses moving on naked skin
of raw young boys sculpting creation
like wet legged gods from transient nimbus

an end to screen doors and dust
and old folks...slow sitting
inhaling time one last time
in fact time itself is done
and it sticks to the walls
of the hearts of the young
leeching bitter into every batch of new wine

ain't it funny how time toys with art

machines wandered fields of poetry
that thought to look ahead into the distance
these machines they thought would replace us
or save us
fighting a battle for our existence
for a moment to overcome
and then
in the end to be overcome by our human need to be human
never would poets dream
of our human desire to be machine

to trade the I for iBelief
and feed the matrix with eDreams
go and tell that thing that the nephilim
have abandoned Zion
to the dull grey dust
of a willow molding by the stream
that runs
just to the east
of our parents garden
Track Name: mother<your son is gone
i heard my momma cry but i cant take her by my side

oh momma
oh momma your son is gone

there is a mourning in the wires
and a demon stokes the gentry fires
mother did you think
that you would live to see the day
that your frozen kids were melted
melted down and running through the doorways of this town
the doorways of this town

this city is depleted
from the beats to the beaten
the whores outside of eden are chomping at the bit
to get a taste of you and me
a little bite of what's inside

oh... floods came early this year mother
there is nowhere left at all

oh momma your son is gone

the child was a dream made flesh
a counterpoint i guess to all the
plans and hopes and visions
hauntings and derisions
that play inside your head then sadly dissipate
into a whole you cannot take
into a role you cant relate too

your words were said in anger
and your boy became a stranger
like the god who
as a willing lamb crawled up on the cross
but the sacrifice was lost in a flood of bits and data
that really doesn't matter
to the boy outside in the streets
that traded your static god for a living breathing idol
that comes whenever you type its name

oh momma your son is gone

well your son is getting weaker
he is cheap and getting cheaper
and the creeps are getting creepier around here
momma your son is gone

he is a surrogate for everything you hoped and feared
oh momma i can feel your pain

oh momma your son is gone
Track Name: take to me
take to me like a child takes to water
and disappear beyond
the deep green sea

speak to me as a father to his daughter
and disappear beyond
the deep green sea

there is time enough for crying
when the road you're on leaves
to find it's own release
and there ain't no sense in hiding anymore
when you already know everyone you meet.

so i will say i will take it all from you my dear

ease in me like your holy other
like your only brother
like some siren from the sea

trace the lines around my face
and they will all lead back to you
take me any other place
every road will lead me back to you

take to me like a child takes to water
and never mind how deep we go
think of me like i hold the marks of slaughter
just like the only one beneath the deep green sea
and throw it all away...

take the saints down from the chapel walls
take the bell down from the choir loft
i will be there in the garden
i will wait for you
Track Name: see in me
i will sail this life til something changes
i'm not lonely for the grave
in a while the fairy comes and rearranges everything
one more time
alone at last

i watch the way the fields crumble
hold life in my hands
of all these grave
i swear to God this may be the last

i don't know where life will find a way

i don't know what went on
i don't remember having fun
this world is like a junkie to me now

to thee i sing

everything i wanted kicked me in the ass
everything i thought you needed you
ended up making for yourself
every note i sang i sang off key
and every life i lived i lived for free

i am left with nothing to hold on
nothing to be
and not for anyone
i am left with nothing more than what you see
nothing more than what you see in me
Track Name: once
i could see the way
to live my life without you in my life
but that's all over now

i could see the way
the angels bowed their heads around your waist
and i could see what remains
of your scent on my skin
and the way these rooms breathe open just to let you in
and i could see the remains of my life

well i keep tearing down walls but the war is over
guess i changed
just a little more
than i thought i would

all and all you missed another chance to cry on my shoulder

i have forgotten myself more than i have forgotten you

anyway what is done is done
you reach an end
it's just another one
what it all comes down to is when you sold out
you sold out again

so much for old friends
Track Name: a christ to save you
i took you as you are
i took you as a friend now didn't i

this has gone too far
everything i wanted
more than this...
i wanted to be where you are

disregard my anger
disregard my sadness
i feel only gladness
because that is what you lack

is it you now
is it me
is there more to this now than what we see

i have heard this all a thousand times

may be high
may be low
just remember only you will know
there is nothing you can do or say
to make me think you are all right

there is no reason for rejoicing
in this world
you find it hard
when you find yourself voicing
all of the crap that they have fed you

my dearest friend
this is not about you
not about the God you thought would do
or the Christ
who you swore would come
and save you from your sins

it isn't what you've done
it's what you do
more than that

it's what you will do again
Track Name: subvert confusion
there are traces of you in everything i touch
it don't amount to much but still it's here

we are foundlings only...all these ones I love
we don't amount to much but still we find
traces around in forgotten faces
violent eyes don't know
too many things I can never touch
it don't amount to much but still I have you.

traces...of the ones i love
fall in love and wear the stain
wanting hands make me sad for the life that i will never now
but raise it all and praise it all...

praise the father and glory to the will
glory to the innocence that takes me.
glory to the willing and traitors of the mind
what have we really left behind??

wont you take my hand and trace it in the sand
but sparkling eyes read between the lines
swallow up all the misbegotten pride
i hide my eyes beneath you.